Some Dark Nights Never End
I lie down on my bed every night before I sleep… take out my phone and look at your picture. I stare at that beautiful smile and keep wondering what went wrong? What went so wrong that things became difficult between us? That what happened to you? What happened that you became like this? And every single night I blame myself for all of it.
I close my eyes and remember every single moment I spent with you. Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday when we used to pour our hearts into those simple words, but sometimes it feels another life time, when I look back at the times nothing could go wrong or no one could ever come between us.
Every night I sleep, I tell myself that I’ll be the girl who meant so much to you, the next morning I get up and all the next morning I get up. But the moment I talk to you, the coldness inside you feels so strong that my warm heart breaks in front of it.
I keep hoping that one day or someday you’ll come back. You’ll be the friend you always were. The one, who used to shower all his love and affection over this little girl, but that day, goes on distancing from me the moment I feel it’s almost here.
It feels so right to be with you, to have you around all the time, but at the same time it even feels so wrong when I place it in my reality. It’s like you are there and still seems like we are miles apart.
I feel that I have to compete with all your friends because they always seem to so better than me in any aspect you pick up. Things become even more difficult when I don’t even know where do I even stand in your life or do I even mean anything to you or my presence even makes the slightest difference in your life.
The worst question of all is the one that keeps killing me from inside, is that do I still have the power to make you smile…?