Category Archives: Hope
You seem distant,
But not gone.
To endless conversations at night,
Which used to last till dawn.
The longing to hear your voice,
Comes to my mind now and then.
Such posts remind me of you,
Asking me our next meeting is when.
The answer to this question,
Is as lost as it can be.
But the heart hopes for sure,
That the time is not too far to see.
(Some relations are beyond anyone’s understanding.)
Sitting beside the window,
Gazing at the night sky.
All I can think about him,
And do is cry.
The laughter in his voice,
The smoothness of his skin.
Longingness to meet him,
Never seems to end.
He’s lying there on his bed,
Thinking about everything but me.
Here I’m missing him so much,
The old photos are the only thing I can see.
He seems happy in his life,
With friends and family around.
Did I not make a difference,
When I was there all along?
Doesn’t he miss my smell,
My smile, my voice?
The excitement around him,
The way I miss his smile?
Little can I understand,
When I’m drowned in all this emotion.
Wish he was here to help,
To comfort me from all this commotion.
Nothing seems enough,
Because he is not here.
All I want is to jump to the place,
Where he is home there.
There is not much that I want,
Just one sign of care.
Or that one sign,
That I mattered.
Is it too much to ask,
From my love?
But what can I say,
When I myself am in discomfort.
Happiness is long due,
It is time for it to come.
Hope is the only string I’ve held,
That is keeping me in sense.
Na Kuch Poocha, Na Kuch Manga
Tune Dil Se Diya Jo Diya
Na Kuch Bola, Na Kuch Tola
Muskura Ke Diya Jo Diya
Tu Hi Dhoop, Tu Hi Chau
Tu Hi Apna Paraya
Aur Kuch Na Janu, Bas Itna Hi Janu
Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Mein Kya Karun
You take care of me like a little baby, you tease me like a little sister and you have deep conversations with me like a friend. 🙂
I still don’t know what I mean to you. But I hope I always have a special place in your heart no matter how many people come in or go out of your life. The cute annoying little constant of your big adventurous life. 😛
It’s your birthday. 25th of April. The day is finally here. I know you don’t get much excited for birthdays but I hope this time I could make one exception. From talking to your friends to completing your gift, all I wanted to be right next to you on this day. Irritating you, annoying you, jumping around the house wishing you, eating your head up, give you squirmy hugs and just not letting you. Making you sing, dancing like crazy. Me being high on you and you being high on alcohol. Going for a long drive with beautiful music in the car. Walking down the beach, enjoying the sound of the waves and talking about anything and everything.
But, reality had to kick in and take this all away. Manipal and Kolkata, miles away, the distance keeping us apart. Everyone is getting to meet you and here I am getting super jealous of it. Well, making me jealous is probably the easiest thing for you anyway. But when the day ends and all are gone, go to your window, grab a smoke and dial Donna on your phone. This silly girl will be waiting to hear about all your day.
You better have a kickass day and enjoy for the both of us. Because it’s your day. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to celebrate.
So many emotions being felt, so many thoughts running around me head, that it is next to impossible to write down anything properly. But, all I can think of is you. Just smiling and enjoying every bit of today. I don’t want to say how much you’ve done for me or what I have done for you or anything much related to that, all I know is we have a different chemistry. Something that no one, trust me, no one in this world can understand leaving the two of us. And that is more than enough.
Having you beside me. Happy days. Sad days. All days.
Your Bachcha to Your Donna,
She wants to be a beautiful butterfly,
But it is difficult to see someone crush her in front of my eyes.
20 years of staying in her cocoon, she knew it was finally her time to flap those wings and finally turn into what she had always dreamed of. Going to places and exploring worlds was just the tip of the ice berg. This pretty butterfly would always want more.
The time slowly came close. Every anxious moment felt long. But deep down her heart she knew it would be all what she has been looking for. To get out in the big world. Show everyone her colourful enormous wings.
Flap! Flap! Flap to every place,
And leave a little colour with perfect grace.
But the world was very different. Every moment felt like in a cage and every urge was to go back to the cocoon because she thought she couldn’t face all this. But giving up was not in her blood. She was caught between the struggle; all by herself she had no clue what she wanted to do.
Fought like a warrior and conquered all hearts.
She made a little place in everyone’s chart.
Happiness, did give up in the end and knocked the heart of the little butterfly hoping it could enter her life. Singing and dancing she welcomed him, making the best of the situation was something new she had learnt.
Jumping to places and trying out new things were in full speed. The wings had finally gained its pace and stopping was the last thing she had in her mind. She slowly became a part of the sunshine. Rose in the morning, spreading her wings like light, people waited for her even for a single sight.
But as nothing lasts forever happiness had to leave. But giving her hope that he will come back soon. She let the door open.
Comes in the human, trying to befriend our precious butterfly. Not knowing she is to be loved from a little distance and not by catching her in the fist. Little did our butterfly knew, what was in store for her. She thought best of the world and put her faith in that human.
Everything seemed perfect for a while. Countless moments and beautiful memories were getting stored in her mind. But as I said before, nothing lasts forever. Things had to change that’s how the universe functions.
Little did she know she would be caught,
Every breath of hers taken by the human felt like a draught.
Now the end seems near, but the butterfly seems to struggle in every possible flare. Happiness said he would be back, all our eyes are on that. Little precious doesn’t deserve it. The world has so much more for her that awaits.
The longing of flying again keeps her alive,
In the hope that one day she will survive.
Happy Anniversary Mumma Papa! 👨👩👧👦
There is so much I’ve learnt from you in these 21 years of my life, that it is difficult to put it to words. But that doesn’t mean its not worth a try. 😊
Papa, you’ve been my role model since my school used to make us fill those blue forms every year, asking me to write “Who’s your role model?” 😋
And the answer to this question still hasn’t changed.
There are a lot of memories we’ve shared together over these past years and there is still more to come. Each time I had faced something new, you helped me do the right thing.
But our relationship is deeper than just learning.
There is this one incident that really moved me. It was a usual Friday night, I told you all about my day and how I had my first Spanish learning class. I was all excited with the new words I had learnt. That’s when you went on to tell me about how you always wanted to learn a different language. I calmed down a bit after hearing this; and you go on telling how you can see that dream coming true through me and I couldn’t find the words to express how listening to what you said made me feel. I was happy and overwhelmed at the same time.
I think a little part me wants to become a doctor to see your eyes sparkle when you see your little girl changing your dream into reality. 😊
Mumma. I get my emotional side from you. You’ve shown me how it feels to be loved and cared for. I think parents try to teach their kids a lot of things. Belief is one thing that can be the toughest to teach. You know you haven’t succeeded until the child herself feels it’s okay to believe against all odds. Even with the fights and frequent crying spells we have, the most important thing you’ve taught me is how to believe. How to believe in myself and others, how not to let situations take the better of us. 😊
Writing all this doesn’t mean I’m no more going to be the little annoying making you both crazy kid who doesn’t listen to you all the time but that you’ll have to patiently wait for your little girl to come back to you and give you both a tight hug. 😋
30 long years and I can still see you both blush at each other during your cute moments. I can only wish and hope to find a special relation with someone like the one you both share.
I know I will always be loved and I will always love you both.
“Every day may not be good but there is always something good in every day.”
Can you imagine finding someone who stays? It is pretty difficult, right? We are living in a world where ‘forever’ comes with a time limit. All I can see around me is relationships having problems, people fighting, years of connection between people being broken in a matter of seconds. I am not trying to be a pessimist but this is the story of majority of people I know. Goods things happen. I won’t deny this fact. But maybe, lately I have seen a lot of things go wrong that’s why I have come to doubting the whole concept of ‘forever’. Maybe it is true that people come, play their roles in our life and go, that’s how the cycle of life works.
But. Beyond every wrong doing, every important thing in life which got messed up because of some reason or the other, beyond everything, I found him. Yes. He is one person for whom I can actually thank my stars, after all that we have gone through, the ups and downs, the fights and smiles, we couldn’t have been closer to each other. He is not my boyfriend. He is not my brother. He is not even my best friend. But he is always there. Somehow calling him a friend seems a little less but there is no one word that can describe this relationship. And when I actually think, I feel there is no need to give it a name. Some people just click and connect and it is there. Putting the feeling into words never seems to do justice to the bond we share.
Forever. When he says it, you know he means it. Every single letter coming out of his mouth makes you believe in it. That yes, when some people say ‘forever’, they actually mean that when we turn 99 years old we’ll be sitting together and smiling about the fact that he proved me wrong, that he stayed with me forever and is still here telling me “I told you so…”.
I don’t think that I have always been there for him. Because trust me I haven’t and I am not really proud of this fact. I screw up a lot when it comes to him. I do. That’s not how I usually am with people who care about me. But yeah, I won’t even flinch for second before saying that he has always been there for me, in sickness and in health. He has been there when I am all happy and crazy about something, making me feel even better for acting insane and he has even been there when I am all sad or unwell, cranky or unbearable, behaving like a total kid, going all indifferent in my worst of moods. But there hasn’t been a moment when he left my side.
People say you should do something so good and selfless for someone that nothing in the world could repay what they did for you. This very day I can say that he has done so much for me, forgiven me, that no matter what I do it will never be equal to what he has done for me.
So… Can you imagine finding someone who stays? It feels like heaven, like magic, like happiness all around. For some of you it would feel like hell being way more bearable than normal.
Having someone who stays feels good and safe, like home. Sweet home.
I lie down on my bed every night before I sleep… take out my phone and look at your picture. I stare at that beautiful smile and keep wondering what went wrong? What went so wrong that things became difficult between us? That what happened to you? What happened that you became like this? And every single night I blame myself for all of it.
I close my eyes and remember every single moment I spent with you. Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday when we used to pour our hearts into those simple words, but sometimes it feels another life time, when I look back at the times nothing could go wrong or no one could ever come between us.
Every night I sleep, I tell myself that I’ll be the girl who meant so much to you, the next morning I get up and all the next morning I get up. But the moment I talk to you, the coldness inside you feels so strong that my warm heart breaks in front of it.
I keep hoping that one day or someday you’ll come back. You’ll be the friend you always were. The one, who used to shower all his love and affection over this little girl, but that day, goes on distancing from me the moment I feel it’s almost here.
It feels so right to be with you, to have you around all the time, but at the same time it even feels so wrong when I place it in my reality. It’s like you are there and still seems like we are miles apart.
I feel that I have to compete with all your friends because they always seem to so better than me in any aspect you pick up. Things become even more difficult when I don’t even know where do I even stand in your life or do I even mean anything to you or my presence even makes the slightest difference in your life.
The worst question of all is the one that keeps killing me from inside, is that do I still have the power to make you smile…?
Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.
― John Lennon
I love surprises and Life has never failed to surprise me at any moment, be it in a good way or a bad way. I have learnt that nothing is permanent in our lives; happiness, sadness, friends, family, money or even things. Everyone has a small role to play, once they are done with their task they leave us and go. And it is bound for us to keep moving on with our life or else we will be left behind. And there will be a moment when it will be difficult for us to find our self. So it is better to start accepting things as they come or make such an effort so that we are able to change the things in our life.
I partly accept things as they come to me and partly take a risk to do things my way. The second half of my attitude has made me make big blunders in my life, but the first half has at times given me more than I deserve. Or maybe it is just that I value or appreciate the happiness I get a little more than others do, as I know how terrible it feels to go through the bad phase.
Last night I was lying on my bed and recalling all the events that happened during the day. Suddenly a thought passed by and I realized no matter how much my life is fucked up, it does not take my share of happiness from me.
May 3, 2013 was one of the longest days of my life that I actually enjoyed. Getting up at 5.30 in the morning and waking AB up. Making sure he comes to teach me. Lying down on the bed half asleep and asking myself ‘Am I dreaming or is he actually going to turn up?’ After 15 minutes my phone starts to vibrate and I somehow managed to look at the name flash and answered the call. 15 minutes and he would be there at my door step. I got up from my bed, washed my face, checked my call log once again to assure myself that I was not dreaming and suddenly realized that he was actually coming. He was there helping me with the study material for a few hours and soon we bid each other good bye by telling it was a pleasure meeting. He went back to his life and so did I. After struggling from my law and math tuition I headed back home, had lunch and rushed to my school for some paper work. Aaaaaannnddd surprise, surprise! He was also there. He was the last person I was expecting to crash into. (But.. Didn’t I tell you, I love surprises 🙂 )
We spoke to each other as if there was this unknown trust between us which was so strong that we didn’t have to think twice before telling something. He walked me back to my house and the whole time I was looking at him and wondering is he the same person I used to see in school? The same one whom I made sure I was not near him or his group. And now the same person looked so different to me. He was mischievous and funny but yet so simple and comforting. Everything felt so light and so good. The day was my escape from reality. I felt free, maybe just for a few hours, but I could feel freedom all around me. Trust me at that point nothing could have felt better.
Friends help us make things so simple for us no matter how complicated the solution might be. But at least we know there is a solution and if not they do help us to take a break.
I have come to another conclusion that we should not judge people on how they look or with whom they hang out or spend time, it totally depends on who they are from within and how good they make us feel. And it feels good to feel the lightness of life. The feeling of having things in life without strings being attached to them, away from darkness and the gloomy world.
I am not sad because the day passed by knowing it will not come back to me soon, but I am smiling because I lived every moment of that day.
Keep Smiling 🙂
All this while I have tried to keep myself up, tried to keep things together, done my best so that the people I love are happy. My life is going through a very rough phase from the past so many months. In the starting I thought it is just a matter of time that soon everything will fall into place. Days passed by, I kept my calm, convinced myself to fight every battle that I’m facing in my life by motivating myself every time I had to face a problem. I knew I was strong enough to get through anything that God has in store for me or else I wouldn’t be facing it in the first place. I felt the pain rush through my body every second, every minute of day. Still I didn’t lose hope. I couldn’t. I told myself.. It’s “ME” – The optimistic one. If I act as an integral support in other people’s lives I can obviously support my own self. I kept saying this to myself every day I got up from sleep, so that I could get through another eighteen long hours of my day. I never let the fire of courage lose its flame. With every sunny morning I would let the ray of hope pass through me, to give light to my life. Some days used to pass by in thoughts. I used to ask myself that how much power this HOPE actually has that till now it didn’t let me down, that till now it hasn’t made me give up on the people who hurt me the most.
But.. Now I am tired. Tired of convincing myself that happiness is on its way and will soon come in my life. All the motivating seem false to me. All I feel like doing is giving up on me, on everyone around me. No matter how much people tell me the right thing, which should be done, doesn’t get into my head. It enters through one year and immediately exits through the other one.
I know I have made mistakes in my life, major mistakes. I am paying for them; I have always paid my part. Never have I ever tried to escape from it. But now, all I ask for is mercy. I am so vulnerable right now that I can break at any moment. Nothing in the world comforts me. I know I have to pay for my sins but all I am asking for is a little break so that I can regain my courage and get back to taking life as it comes, facing all the things I deserve to face in my life. Just a small break would be enough, enough to find the optimistic me and get myself back to smiling even after all the troubled phase.
Life is as complicated as we want to make it. Truly said by someone that it is not the problem in our life which is the problem; it is our attitude towards the problem which decides the intensity of it. People can only hurt you till the time you love them. You win, when you stop caring. It is as simple as that. But I know it is not that easy to implement it in our lives. But, yes if we really want to solve a problem in our life and get over it, no matter how much time it takes or no matter how much pain we have to bear. There will come a day when we actually find a ray of light in our dark life. Ummm… Not even a ray of light, there will surely come a day when you come out in the sunshine and play under the infinite sky.
Then you will suddenly start hoping for the moment to stay forever and that it never ends. But from my personal experience I suggest, it will be better if you don’t hope anything like this because as sad moments don’t stay forever, even happy times don’t. But this thought should no way stop you from enjoying the moment to its fullest. It is better to value what you have at the right time rather than regret it being what you had in your life.
Till yesterday it seemed like forever the last time I actually laughed my heart out. But today life has something better in store for me. Not that I haven’t suffered much or I am still not suffering. It is just that the wonderful moments I spend with my friends compensate for all the pain I have to go through. It feels heavenly when they do everything to make me smile. Even I do my part by being a good listener, a support system. But at times it feels as if they give me a little extra happiness than what I deserve, which in turn makes me feel more special. Small gestures make so much of a difference in my life. That smile which I give to comfort them, the hug that I wish could never end. That drive that shows me a new dimension of the city I live in. Playing video games after ages and realizing how much I missed it.
It is true, I am blessed by wonderful friends in my life which help me find a new way to happiness no matter how twisted the road might seem. It is a little difficult to write down when I feel happy and I still can’t figure out why. But by no chance it lessens the intensity of my happiness. Maybe I just want that feeling to stay within me so that its value or worth doesn’t diminish in my heart.
I am happy and it obviously feels good. I don’t know for how long it will last. But I will enjoy it, treasure every second because life is very uncertain. What I have today might not be with me tomorrow. The reason can be anything. Maybe the role of that person in my life would soon end and I would have to move on. But I don’t want to end up regretting anything. I have the opportunity to be happy now, to smile like I have never been hurt and I will live it to the fullest. Because I know what I have gone through and it is now my time, it is time for me to be happy, to be selfish and only care about people who love me with all they have. All I want them is to realize everyday they get up in the morning is that I love them today, I will love them tomorrow. This is all I have and this is the most I can give and they deserve every bit of it because it was them who were awake with me on all those dark nights when I used to stay up just to cry my heart out. So now when I am happy not only because I want to be but because they were always there to motivate me to smile even when my life had a rainy phase. It is time for me to do my bit to make sure even they smile.
I feel good. And it feels better when I am a reason behind someone else’s smile.
9th March 1995 came into this world, a little girl who is going to turn 18 in a month. The small little fingers have now grown long, the innocent girl has now come to the stage where she has to finally grow up into an adult, the little bruises that used to hurt her have now turned into heart breaks which increase the pain, that smile which used to come on her face by giving her a toffee, now comes when she gets a hug. And this girl is no one else but Me. 😛
But one thing for sure has not changed and I doubt it will ever change. That is, my birthday is the best day of my life. Nothing can replace the feeling, the excitement I get when this day comes closer and closer. Ever year I feel soo special on this day. Everyone in my life does everything possible to make this one day, the most memorable one for me. Though every year I am always a little scared because I am always unsure of what is actually going to happen on this day, what will they actually do for me and soo many questions just fill up my head. This is the one feeling out of all the excitement which calms me down as soon as there are just a few days left for my birthday. But I always end up having the best day of my year.
Every year I used to celebrate my birthday for a week. But this year things are going to be different. My boards will be going on and I will not be able to celebrate. 😥 I am somehow not expecting much from my friends. Maybe because everyone will be having their exams on. Or maybe I don’t want to be disappointed on my 18 birthday. It is going to be the worst feeling if something happens like this. All these years my birthday has been so good, its just that this year I am more of scared than excited.
I don’t want any gifts or presents or beautiful cards. All I want is, the first thing I see when I get up from my sleep on that day is my friends in front of me. All I want is to see ALL my friends whom I have know from my childhood till date do be there with me on this special day.
I am just hoping for the best and expecting the least. 🙂
[What so ever happens on that day, I know it is going to be the best I could ever get.]
I am a teenager. For me, friends are my life. It is difficult to say who is my friend and who is not. Because there has always been a time in my life when someone comes like an angel, helps me get through the bad phase and then takes a back seat in my life.
Friendship is one relationship that means a lot to me. Because it has the least complications in it.
As a daughter, my parents expect me to grow up and carry out all responsibilities entrusted to me. As a sister, my brothers expect me not to go out for late night parties. As a girl, the society expects me to not let down my family’s respect by any wrong doing. BUT as a friend, my friends expect me to just be myself. 🙂
Friends can’t listen when you tell them that you are low and don’t feel like talking, they can’t read if you leave a letter saying ‘go away from me’. Friends are just another creation of God, telling us that no matter how many good things come to an end, we have people to make our lives easy. Friends love you more than your lovers.
By definition friendship is the state of being friends.
But for me, Friendship is when I give my bag to my mother and carry his bag. It’s when I stay up all night on the other side of the phone to make sure I am there for him in time of need. It’s when I am out of text balance and she texts me Good Night with my reply too. It’s when I fight with him/her and still wait for them to call or message. It is when I say I’m okay and they look into my eyes and tell me not to lie. It’s when I get back to a person after years and still feel things haven’t changed. It’s when he tells me not to be shy and that he’ll do anything he can when I need him. It’s that hug which warms me in the cold winter. Its that silence in the room when I am with her doing my work, and all that matter is the presence of the person. It’s when I write a blog and she can connect with ever word of that post to her life. It is when I get mad at everything around me and they just sit there patiently and listen me crib about things. Its that smile which comes to my face when I look at them in the corridor. It is those silly volley ball shots that make me laugh even harder. It is those random conversations we have just to know each other properly. It is those calls which takes away the loneliness from my life. It is those long walks just to fill in each other about our lives. It is when I can’t stay angry for a long time because I have something important to say. It is that ‘Sorry’ we say because the person matters more than our ego. It is that loyalty which comes when the whole world is against me and they stand for my support. It is when I give up on everything and they never give up on me. It is that surprise visit I get just to cheer up my mood.
Friendship is Love. Care. Affection.
And I am glad that I am blessed not only by one, but many friends in my life.
Keep your friends close to you. You might not know their importance now, but they all matter.
As we say “We need all the colours to complete our picture..”
Problems. We always think that we act as a magnet for them, as they never leave us. If we are done dealing with one problem of our life, another one just suddenly pops up. And we always end up thinking ‘Why Me?’.
People. Everyone out there. Firstly you are not the only person overload with problems in your life. Everyone is struggling, be it rich or poor. Some people are just good at hiding it. So please don’t end up thinking that why out of thousands of people you are the one who is stuck in such a mess. Everyone’s life is difficult. The grass is not always green on the other side. For everyone their problem is the biggest. So please don’t make others feel that your problem is the most important thing in the world by neglecting their problem.
Now the part comes where we actually think that how can we come out of this mess. Firstly if you have a solution start working on it. If you know you can’t do anything about the situation. Then stop worrying and enjoy the confusion. Because as good days don’t stay forever, even bad phase doesn’t. See, the only reason why we have a problem in life is because we can get through it. And anything that doesn’t kill you, makes you strong. So, just take a chill pill. Dance in the rain rather than crib about the storm.
Until and unless you really try to make things better in your life, things wont get back to being normal. There is no point in cribbing about your situation. Deal with it. Take decisions. Bring change in your life. If, by chance you are tired of dealing with things, go out and do something that you like, forget about the whole world for a while and what people will think or say about you. It is your life and no one can make you feel bad until you give them a chance to do so. Problems are not going anywhere until we solve it. So take a break from your life. You can get back to dealing with things from tomorrow.
You have tried being a total pessimist and things still haven’t worked out in your favour. So for once, listen to me and think positive. Yes, be an optimistic person. You will feel the change. Your problems will not go anywhere. But, you’ll have the courage to deal with them.
Keep smiling. 🙂
Happiness. By definition means a state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.
In my life I have come across many happy moments, times when tears rolled down my eyes because I was soo happy, times when my stomach started aching because I laughed soo much. But we usually tend to forget all these moments when we are going through a bad phase and always question God ‘Why me?’ But I don’t get it He was the same person to give us all those wonderful memories in our life; there is obviously a reason why He is making us go through this tough time.
According to me, instead of being sad during the sad time we should be happy that now that we are going through such a terrible phase, God must have planned something very good beyond our imagination. And we should have a dose of difficult times so that we value the happy memories.
I once read in a poem “A thing of beauty is a joy forever..Its loveliness increase, it will never pass into nothingness”
Things that make me happy, jab achi wali feeling aati hai..
When I get up in the morning and rush to my mother to give her a tight hug and she smiles back and give me an even tighter hug.
When I sit next to my brother while he is driving the car, makes me feel how time flies and that he has turned 20 so fast.
When I get a morning wakeup call from that special person because my mood wasn’t okay the last night.
When I sit to write my blog and just can’t stop typing.
When I see that big smile on my Auntie’s face, after meeting her after years.
When I have a bowl full of ice cream.
When that someone special calls me at night just to make sure I have a sound sleep.
When I meet my friends in school after a long holiday and have so much to tell them.
When I get a call from my friend and he/she tells to look out of the window as they are standing there just to say hi.
When my brother takes me out for shopping and tell me don’t look at the price tag and buy whatever you want to.
When I play with my father’s hair and doze off while sitting near his leg.
When I talk to a very old friend and seems as if nothing has changed in so many years.
When someone tries to make me smile as I’m upset of some reason.
My list seems never ending. I am glad I have such wonderful people in my life who make my life worth living. Achi wali feeling aati hai.
Just remember one thing, we are humans, we have 50% happy and 50% sad times. So live life to your fullest because no matter what you can’t escape anything what life has in store for you..
Feel like giving up? On your relationship? On him?
Think for a second, why did you hold on to him for soo long.. It is not that you did not spend good times together. There were special moments which made your heart skip a beat. The current that rushes through your body when both of you make sure you look at each other no matter how crowded the place is. All the morning wake up calls just to make YOU feel special. Him being the last person to tell you good night. Making sure that you have a sound sleep. Suddenly telling you ‘Hi!’ just to light up your face. Giving you that small smile so that you have a good day, knowing the fact that he rarely smiles.
How can you give up on everything that he has made you feel? All the long conversations over the phone, ignoring all the other calls, he spoke to YOU. Not having text balance and still talking to you day and night. Making you feel that you are right beside him, every minute, every second of his life.
Sharing all his problems with you even when he didn’t open up in front of all his so called friends. Telling you everything with such immense emotion filled in every word he spoke. Being like a total kid so that YOU have a day worth living, so that you get up with a smile on your face. He listened to all your problems without being judgemental, even when you cried because of your ex. Knowing the fact that it kills him inside when you get bothered because of silly reasons.
Getting furious at you because you didn’t sleep properly or didn’t have your meals on time. Remembering every little thing you told him. Even when his life is messed up, he makes sure you are not tensed. Even when he feels like giving up on you because you acted like a total jerk at times. He still sticks to you. And just because he has taken a back seat, you feel like giving up?
He gave you the best of everything, even himself. When now he is at his worse doesn’t he deserve you to stick to him? How selfish can people be.
Get mad at him when he annoys you, cry when he hurts you, but don’t forget to love him when he needs you. He will never tell you that he needs you, he’ll push you away. But understand his silence. Stay with him even if it annoys him. Because you know that your support helps him get through all the problems he has to face in his life.
I know at times you can’t handle him, but just remember that he has always stood by you and now it’s your time to be there for him.. Make him feel that this world isn’t that bad and love still exists..
Finally after all the confusion in my mind I planned to blog.
I still don’t feel up to the mark. It feels as if I am standing in front of the starting line of a race and waiting for the gun shot so that I can move ahead, leaving every unwanted feeling behind.
Thank you Shivika for helping me out in everything. 🙂
My username perfectly defines what I feel most of the time.
That’s all from this ‘first timer’.
Adios amigo. Keep smiling.